How did I get here?

Sometimes I wonder how my life got to where it has. Some of you may know but others may not that my life hasn't always been on the straight and narrow. Growing up I dealt with a lot of emotional turmoil. Depression, suicidal thoughts and low self-esteem. Basically it came down to it that I didn't feel that I was worthwhile and I didn't deserve happiness. Well because of the no confidence and sadness I found happiness (or what I thought was happiness) in all the wrong places. I chose to stray from my beliefs and leave the path of righteousness. Now at the time I thought I was happy, that this was the life I wanted, but the Holy Ghost slowly drifted away and my relationship with my Heavenly Father was suffering. Was I truly happy? NO! I would look in the mirror and not know who was starring back at me.

One night I was sitting on the sidewalk in an empty parking lot and I poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father and prayed and asked Him to help me find my way back and He did. I won't go into details how it happened (if you want to know you can always ask) but lets just say that it was a hard battle that I was ready to fight.

Now that I had gotten on the right path I had to do the hardest thing ever, forgive myself, forgive myself of all the wrong doings in my life and allow myself to know that I was worth all the blessings my Heavenly Father had in store for me. This was a very long process and I had a few hiccups along the way but I never lost track of what I desired most, to go to the Temple, the House of the Lord and be sealed to my future husband for time and eternity. Now in the back of my mind I thought, no worthy young man would want me I had made to many mistakes. I prayed to my Heavenly Father to please help me find that special someone that knew how to love unconditionally. Well, I found that someone, a return missionary full of love and compassion for a girl who had lost her way for a moment in life, God had answered my prayers once again.

Kyle helped my testimony of the church grow more then I could ever imagined and the day that he took me the House of the Lord was one of the most beautiful and amazing days of my life. He helped me reach my goal that I had always wanted ever since I was in primary singing " I love to see the Temple I'm going there someday..."

Now back to my original question or thought, How did my life end up where it has? Well a few ways I believe; first I had loving parents who never once gave up on me and I know never stopped praying for me. Second I never gave up on myself, because the desire to change was always in the back of my mind. Third, Kyle, he guided me and helped me obtain my goal of an Eternal Family. Lastly, the most important one of all my loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Not once did they turn their backs on me, it was me who turned my back on them. I know with all my heart that they fought for me they wanted me to find my way back to them and when I finally did they opened their arms and embraced me with all their love.

In ending I want to say that God never turns His back on us and I know at times we think that He does and that we are all alone, but we need to take a closer look at ourselves and see that it is us that has turned away. It simply takes two steps to turn around and see that He is there with open arms waiting for your loving embrace.